I wish I could leave it at that. But, if I am being completely honest, the next several months were some of the hardest I have endured emotionally. My sweet little baby started non-stop crying and stopped sleeping. The only way I could get him to end the crying for a respite was to nurse him, and when he would finally settle down, he would nurse for hours. Yes, hours. When I would try to remove him, the crying began again. (And I bet you can guess what repercussions nursing for hours at a time did to my body.) I questioned all those things a new mommy lacking confidence does: What am I doing wrong? Why can't I settle my baby? and What if my baby doesn't love me? It sounds a bit silly now, but I really was a wreck. (And I have to add, my husband was, too.) We had multiple visits to the pediatrician and lactation consultant. Finally, after over a month of this, Cameron's doctor said nonchalantly, "Well, since this is one of the worst cases of colic I have seen in a while..." WAIT!!! Colic??? You're right, it was obvious. But remember, I was a brand new mommy. I wasn't trusting my instincts because I didn't even think that I could console my own baby. I wasn't about to self-diagnose, especially since he had been seen by several doctors and the lactation consultant numerous times by now for various reasons. No one had ever uttered the "c-word." I vividly remember my sigh of relief -- not that he had colic but that there was an answer. He told me it would be over by the time he was three months. Three months came and went with very little relief, but by around five months, he had made great strides. He still wasn't a sleeper, but he smiled and cooed, and the joy he brought began to completely outweigh all of those tears.
(The photographer still reminds me that this was one of the toughest sessions she has ever done and how empathetic she felt towards me! But I do adore this picture.)
Whew! The colic is over and we are all glad for that!
(Watch out! That Gingerbread Man is gonna getcha!)
His big brotherly instincts really seemed to kick in right away. As an infant, Connor would respond to Cameron's voice almost immediately. Cameron would routinely sing, "If You're Happy and You Know It" whenever Baby Connor cried. He continues to look after him and helps him with his coat, toys, or finds him fun pictures to color.
Their brotherly bond continues to grow. We can't wait until they can really play with each other. They do try now, and Cameron is usually awfully patient. Last Thanksgiving, Cameron's teacher asked each child to tell what he or she was most thankful for and draw a corresponding picture. Cameron's picture read: "I am so thankful for my baby brother." That one was a keeper!
Drumroll, please! This is the debut of Cameron's brand, spankin' new picture, taken just last week. (Side note: I apparently *really* like blue and yellow stripes.) When he was a baby, I wondered if Cameron was so acutely aware of his surroundings that his senses were overloaded which would cause much of his crying. I do think he is still very aware; he is a smart, witty, and funny boy who has a sensitive soul and a dramatic side. And we have no idea how we ever felt whole without him.
If you have read this far, thank you for helping us to honor the last five years of life with our Peanut. And to Cameron: How much does Mommy love you?