I should be used to this feeling because it has come over me every year for the past five years. But it doesn't make it any easier. The tears just keep coming. You see, I am technically two different types of mommy. In the summer, I get to experience stay-at-home mommyhood. But then, just as soon as I am really getting used to my new schedule and having my little men all to myself, -- wham! -- it's time to go back to work again.
Don't get me wrong; I love my job most days. I am aware that I am quite fortunate to be able to even have a job that offers two months off (no, we do not have three months off as urban legend would suggest!). But I miss those little boys. Desperately.
Somehow, the day before I return to work, all of the whines, temper tantrums, and messiness in the world mean nothing, and I only want to spend a few more precious days with my children...just us, playing together and relaxing on our lazy summer days, doing what we want, when we want. I realize I am not actually leaving my children; after all, I will pick them up every afternoon as per our usual school schedule. But it won't be the same. I will be preoccupied with all of the work I still have to do well beyond my "workday," Peanut will be starting kindergarten (!) and he will have his own brand new preoccupations, and Pumpkin will be read to and put down for naps by his babysitter and not his mommy.
Once I get back into the swing of things, I'll be okay. But I am never good at change, and these little boys of mine just change so darn fast. So excuse me while I relish the memories of these happy summer days that are gone way too soon with tissues in hand. I have to morph into Working Mommy tomorrow, and tissues will be a required part of the uniform for the first few days.
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8 comments:
Thinking of you today. Hope it goes OK. I have always thought that higher pay and retirement should come at the beginning of our career, so that we would have the money and time to raise our children! Then we could just work until we are older and we wouldn't need as much income, cuz the kids would be out on their own! Ha.
Although I will not be going off to work everyday, I am also feeling the effects of the end of summer. I have enjoyed lazy mornings and carefree days. Fortunately, these next rounds of chemo will be scheduled while the boys are at school and preschool and they will not know what I did that day. I will also have an opportunity to rest those days before they come home.
I am thinking of you as the summer comes to a close.
Where in the world did the summer go?
Hope all goes well when you go back.
Maybe we can get together soon.
I cannot believe that my first "great" is going to start kindergarten (sniff, sniff).
Love,
K.
That makes me sad. Summer went so fast...it is all going so fast. Your Plumb song makes me even sadder! I hope your jump back into school is a good one. I know you will make a difference to many kids over this year along with your very own.
Hun, I know it's the not the same as being home with them during summer, but think about the way you said Pumpkin excitedly greeted you at daycare when you picked him up yesterday...and think of everything that Peanut will want to share with you with every new day of kindergarten. That kind of stuff should help get you through each day.
Also, I know I'm behind on giving you back and leg rubs...something you'll probably need more of now that school's starting again. Maybe I can play catch-up over Big Brother 10 tonight. ;)
I, too, know what you mean about being sad to see the summer end. My little one is starting 3rd grade! That's nuts! And my middle is starting preschool. It's all too much for a pregnant lady to handle! :) School starts for us this upcoming Monday, and I'm sure I'll have my tissues on hand, as well. :)
It is sad but also so sweet how genuine you are about missing your children as you go back to work. As a homeschooling mother I sometimes feel a tug in the other direction--wanting a couple of hours a week to myself. However, I've known enough people who can't WAIT for the school bus to come pick up their kids at the end of summer. I've even seen signs in people's yards saying something like, "Busdriver, PLEASE don't forget to pick up my kids!" So to me, your sadness is real but refreshing!
On another note, I looked back on your brother's memorial blog and noticed that you just celebrated your 20th hs reunion. As I think I may have told you, seeing the blog you created for your brother was the inspiration for me to start one for my brother who died almost 21 years ago. He would have celebrated his 25th reunion a couple of weeks ago. It's been very therapeutic for me really. It's also been fun reconnecting with our neighbors and his friends. I even learned that one of his grade school classmates who posted a message is married to the plumber on Desperate Housewives!
Again, thanks for the inspiration!
I don't know if you experienced this..but our cold spring took FOREVER to end. Then summer was here..and it was so good to us this year. But man, you're right, all the fun we had made it fly by. I'm having the same feelings for our newly turned preschooler. She starts in 2 weeks, and I'm having an extremely hard time with it. I'll go grab us a box of tissues.
Tiff
BTW, are you a teacher?
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