I should be used to this feeling because it has come over me every year for the past five years. But it doesn't make it any easier. The tears just keep coming. You see, I am technically two different types of mommy. In the summer, I get to experience stay-at-home mommyhood. But then, just as soon as I am really getting used to my new schedule and having my little men all to myself, -- wham! -- it's time to go back to work again.
Don't get me wrong; I love my job most days. I am aware that I am quite fortunate to be able to even have a job that offers two months off (no, we do not have three months off as urban legend would suggest!). But I miss those little boys. Desperately.
Somehow, the day before I return to work, all of the whines, temper tantrums, and messiness in the world mean nothing, and I only want to spend a few more precious days with my children...just us, playing together and relaxing on our lazy summer days, doing what we want, when we want. I realize I am not actually leaving my children; after all, I will pick them up every afternoon as per our usual school schedule. But it won't be the same. I will be preoccupied with all of the work I still have to do well beyond my "workday," Peanut will be starting kindergarten (!) and he will have his own brand new preoccupations, and Pumpkin will be read to and put down for naps by his babysitter and not his mommy.
Once I get back into the swing of things, I'll be okay. But I am never good at change, and these little boys of mine just change so darn fast. So excuse me while I relish the memories of these happy summer days that are gone way too soon with tissues in hand. I have to morph into Working Mommy tomorrow, and tissues will be a required part of the uniform for the first few days.